Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I'm sooo... BLAH!!

Meet Victoria Reagan Wearne born 06-05-10
I went to see my friends baby the other day, she was only 1 day old and because she came out by C-section she was perfect already! No birthing war marks or a cone head, just outta the womb perfect! She was so adorable and honestly it made me want to hold my baby that much more. I haven't been all that excited this time around with this pregnancy it's been more of a "hassle" to be pregnant. Sounds awful but it defiantly is not the same as when i was pregnant with Tre and i seriously kept saying "it HAS to be a girl because of all the grief she is giving me" "Only a GIRL would do this to a person" and random comments like that before we knew for sure that it was a girl. The number one thing that is different about this pregnancy is my mood! i am so moody most of the time and i can't even stand myself. LOL i hate being like this but there doesn't seem to be much that can help it or make it go away! Trust me if i could make it go away i would but i am just a big ol' bitch for the most part and again... I HATE IT!

Back in the day when i was a teenager, i was pretty depressed (i had lost my grandma who was more like a mother and my parents treated me like cinderella) and had the same shitty attitude for YEARS!! it was only AFTER i made a conscience decision that i wasn't going to be hateful and bitchy anymore, i didn't want to hate everything and everyone, i no longer wanted to make shitty comments about things, people and life.... that i really came out of it. i wanted to be happy and so i CHOSE happiness over being depressed. since then i am very conscience of my mood and when i tend to swing its usually somewhere around "that time of the month" but this baby girl inside me is making me crazy! lol i keep telling everyone that i have TWO SETS OF OVARIES IN MY BODY OF COURSE I'M GONNA BE BITCHY! lol

So at my last doctors visit i questioned him about it, KNOWING the answer to my question already, i think i just wanted to bring it up to him just to validate myself in knowing that im NOT crazy and it is the baby doing it to me. So we talked about my hormonial crazy ass and i asked him if the fact that i am super moody right now during pregnancy would indicate that i will have post partum... and he said that there will be a higher chance for me to have post partum because obviously the hormons are effecting my mood more this time around.... UGH damn FEMALES!!! why we gotta be friggin CRAZY for!?!?!?!?

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