Thursday, October 20, 2011

Baby Steps

So last night while i was at the hospital with my mother my child decides she is going to walk across the living room.

Explanation of mom being in the hospital.... SCARIEST THING EVER!
Friday no one had talked to her all day - we all thought she was in deep with getting ready for a craft show the next day but what really happened in she was SICK... deathly sick and didnt even know it. She had pneumonia and never even had the first symptom. it turned into a blood infection called Sepsis that goes and attacks all the organs in the body, one by one until it's shut down and dead. My mother was so close to dying Friday evening!! Her blood sugar was 16 and her blood pressure was 63/34 on top of that her oxygen levels were low and she had no clue who we were. She could talk tho and she kept asking why people were yelling at her and anytime they would move her she'd say... WAIT A MINUTE...
on the way to the hospital the EMT gives her a glucose shot and she comes out of it but almost as quick as she came out of it... she went back into it.
So we get her to the ER and they are drawing blood and doing EKG's and xrays and all kinds of stuff, that's when we find out she has pneumonia but we still dont understand what is going on and why she is like this.
Within a few hours they put her on a ventilator and strap her arms down to the bed... i am REALLY freaked out and worried and confused and emotionally drained already from marks grandma just passing away earlier that week.
she was moved to ICU and i stayed the night with her... that was the most awful experience just being there and watching her breath, knowing it wasn't HER breathing... the words LIFE SUPPORT is just a terrible thing to hear especially when a loved one is on it.
So i got about 3 maybe 4 broken hours of sleep in an uncomfortable chair - went home Saturday since they said they were going to keep her sedated and on the vent to rest for the day and see about getting her off the vent Sunday. Sunday being Kaylins first birthday party!
Kays party came and at the same time it was time to get mom of the vent. she fought the nurses when they took it out she was ready to go home and they had to sedate her again to calm her down. after kays party i went up to see her and she was talking... she asked what happen and i told her she had pneumonia, i figured i'd keep the details limited until she was in her right frame of mind. she made a face and i told her to relax as i rubbed her forehead and hair. She said she wanted to go home and i told her she was really sick and had to stay and she made the saddest face! it was pretty much heart breaking leaving her that night but i just couldn't sleep in that chair from hell again and then sit in it all day again. so i went home and got some sleep, woke up, took the kids to school and went back up to sit with her. She was already doing much better, talking and more coherent than before but her motor skills weren't back to normal. i stayed all day Monday and took care of her. Tuesday she was even more back to normal and by Wednesday, even after having the cath/heart test thing done to see how much damage was done to her heart she was EVEN MORE BACK TO NORMAL.
She is going home today, leaving the hospital with merely some fluid on the lung and a cough... but just a few days ago was so close to death she was gray and almost unresponsive. Just goes to show how much things can change from one moment to the next and how much we take for granted the people we love, that they will always be around or because they are still young that they will be around for longer than we think.
My mother is my best friend and the thought of loosing her was so emotional for me that i could never even fathom the thought... well Friday evening FORCED me to stop and think about it, that was too close for comfort. Sunday night i finally felt like i could cry and think about the "what ifs". Any emergency situation that i am in i am FINE emotionally until it's "over" and i start thinking about WHAT IF this happened or that happened... then i become emotionally overwhelmed and loose it. I felt like i could do that Sunday when i told mom it was good to see her awake and she told me to shut up... that's my mom!!!

Kaylins birthday party went great... she did awesome even if she did have an early nap!
when it was time for cupcake, we couldn't even sing happy birthday for the quickness she laid upon that thing. lol she grabbed it from the bottom and squished all the cupcake out and then proceeded to eat the paper! HAHA we took the paper from her and she started eating the cupcake... and she at it ALL - every single bit of it without hardly any mess on her!

I did the door measure thing like i do every 6 months for Tre and found that tre was one whole inch taller than kaylin is right now.

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